Sunday, February 5, 2012

Silhouettes on a Winter's Evening

We are moving slow here today. That doesn’t mean we weren’t up by 6, it just means that there’s more groaning involved and the trip to the bathroom and downstairs for coffee takes a bit longer than normal. Yesterday was a full day, and we were up way past our normal bedtime.

It was for a good cause, though, so the hurt isn’t so bad, kind of like the way you feel the day after you’ve spread mulch all over the yard. There’s some real pain, but a definite feeling of satisfaction involved.

Yesterday was the culmination of almost two year’s work.

A couple of years ago one of the local physicians came up with the idea that we needed a support group for LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) youth in the area. This revelation came to him after some of his patients came in with complaints that nobody – especially a kid – should ever have.

Things like being beat up to the point that, despite the fact that he had been this boy’s physician since birth, he couldn’t recognize him, or testing a 16 year old for STD’s (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) because his parents threw him out when they discovered he was gay, resulting in him becoming a prostitute.

So a group of people got together with the thought that “We ought to form a club.”

Well, not exactly. Adults don’t form clubs. They convince their friends to help them form nonprofit organizations and foundations to support their cause. Then they badger them into helping and giving money.

So we helped create OUTright Youth of Catawba Valley, Inc., a bona-fide 501(c)3 not-for-profit, your donation is tax deductible organization. Anyone who's ever worked on a new nonprofit knows getting through the paperwork of that ordeal is, in itself, a real test of endurance.

As a result every month we meet in a conference room and tell what we’re doing to help beat back the misguided ideology of the rest of society to help a group of kids that need a little boost and to know that someone cares. There’s a couple of ways to do this.

The first is to create educational programs, especially ones focused on bullying, whether in school, in churches or in society, in the hopes of preventing teen suicide, then to get to present the programs in places that they might actually do some good.

This is more difficult than it sounds. Some school systems haven't exactly welcomed us into the fold of their bosom. Some have, though, and that's part of what keeps a group like this going.

The second is to provide a safe social outlet for these kids.  Nothing spectacular. Hang out and watch movies. Go skating. Play board games. Things that any church group might do, except these kids -- who often aren't welcomed into churches or other groups because they happen to be gay -- don't have any place to do those normal things.  To flirt. To talk for hours on end. To just hang out and be who they are.

Starting up a nonprofit is a lot like starting a business. In some ways it’s worse, though, because you can’t fire volunteers. Well, you can, but it just seems a little awkward. This group is unusual, though, in that everyone shows up for the meetings.

They’ve done their homework and have new things to bring to the table.

They help put a plan of action together and then go out and make it happen.

Last night, all of that culminated in our first fundraiser – “Silhouettes on a Winter’s Evening – an Evening of Distinction.”

You don’t get to be my age without having done the “rubber chicken” circuit more than a few times, so I know what you’re thinking.

"If I buy a ticket, do I still have to go?"

This was different, though. One of the nicest restaurants in town offered to close down – on a Saturday night – so we could have our event there. Then the chef and the owner came up with a menu that was sufficiently exotic to be exciting, but not so far out of the norm as to scare people off.

Homemade cheese biscuits with Jalapeno Jelly. Moroccan chicken, from an old family recipe. Couscous with veggies in it. Warm bread pudding with vanilla ice cream for dessert. It was as far removed from the typical chicken breast with green beans as a burger is from filet minion.

The food is only one part of an evening, regardless of how wonderful it is. Others kicked in with amazing things as well.

The President of the North Carolina NAACP--Rev. Dr. T. Anthony Spearman -- introduced the guest of honor, Mitchell Gold, who wrote the book “Crisis in America” about bullying of LGBT kids by houses of faith.

Mitchell gave an incredibly moving talk about change that needs to happen in our society, and especially about the proposed North Carolina Constitutional Amendment that will not only limit marriage for gay people, but will substantially impact the rights of ANY unmarried individuals in this state. More importantly, though, he talked about caring for the future of our society, our young people.

Especially those that might not be in the mainstream.

A centerpiece of the evening was a video created by the youth themselves. There were roughly 160 people in the restaurant – it was packed to capacity, which at a minimum of $100 a plate is a miracle in itself with this economy. But during the 10 minutes or so that the video played, there wasn’t a sound. 

You can watch it here (if the link changes as we anticipate when it's made public, I will revise it here...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_3xiqWrm8A

Nobody talked. There were no glib remarks or side conversations that continued.

Everyone in the house was glued to the televisions that were playing the video.

I said there wasn’t a sound – by the end, that wasn’t exactly true. There was more than a little sniffling and nose blowing.

It was THAT moving.

So our day yesterday was the end push of a lot of days of preparation. Everyone got a copy of Mitchell’s book and a little jar of the pepper jelly to take home, party favors to help them remember the evening and our organization.

There are some things that are telling about whether an event is a success or not, though. People will say, "Oh, this is so wonderful," when they're really just wanting you to go away so they can finish eating and go home. You can't rely on that, especially in the South where an emphasis is put on being polite.

Besides, you want some of these same people to come to YOUR group's event when it happens, so you want to say nice things to them.

But numbers don't lie.

We had generated almost $40,000.00 in sponsorships and ticket sales before the event. We were too tired to tally up the totals last night, but I have no doubt that we far exceeded that amount with what was given during the evening.

More importantly, though, people hung around after they ate. Usually it’s almost a “dine and dash” to get out of a function like that after you’ve eaten.

People – and it wasn’t the usual crowd that you’d see at an event like this – circulated through much of the group and talked to others.

The other interesting thing was that I know it was a financial stretch for some of those attending to buy their ticket. But they thought it was important to help fund this group.

Finally, about 11:00, with both the wait staff and the Board members exhausted, it was time to pull down the decorations and call it a night. We cleaned up and headed for the house.

So we’re moving a little slower than normal today, popping the ibuprophen because we’re not used to standing on a concrete floor in dress shoes for 8 hours on end, and I suspect that the afternoon nap may be a bit longer than normal.

That’s OK, because it’s not like we’d planned to go to the circus or anything today.

It’s the tired you feel when you know you’ve done a good thing.

In the legacies of my life, this is one of the best things of which I’ve ever been a part. It’s a chance to work hands-on and not only make a difference, but to see the difference you make and to know that the world is a better place than it was before.

That’s worth tired feet and a sore back.

If you'd like to help support the work of ORY you can make a tax-deductible donation via the website at:  http://outrightyouthcv.org/ 

Like us on Facebook at "OUTright Youth of Catawba Valley."