Macaroons are the New Cupcake

We’re on our annual trip to NYC between Christmas and New Year’s. We’ve got the routine down now – this is pure relaxation and exploration. We’ve been to NYC enough that we no longer have to do the “tourist” things – Top of the Rock (although we will wander by to see the tree), Empire State building, Central Park, etc – we’ve got a few friends here and visit them throughout the week, but mostly we eat our way through different neighborhoods and just get recharged.

One of the things we do enjoy when exploring the City, though, is trying to find places (usually food-related) that we’ve seen on television. It also seems like there are always new trends that are popular -- last year cupcakes were the celebrity food. For 2011, it's Macaroons.

This led us to the discovery that La Maison du Macaron was just around the corner at 132 W. 23^rd street.

Finding out that a nifty food place is just around the corner can be a mixed blessing. It’s fun to run into places that you’ve seen on television, so you can claim the “I been there” award, but if it’s good, it’s entirely too convenient to return, especially for treats (as opposed to meals).

I had no idea that this was the latest food craze. I wondered how on earth someone could create a whole shop around those white piles of coconut that we see emerge from kitchens around Christmas (and of which, incidentally, I’m very fond – but a whole shop?)

These aren’t anything like that. They’re more like a soft Oreo in lots and lots of different flavors.

That’s somewhat problematic for me, because when faced with more than 3 choices I tend to become overwhelmed and shut down, or in the alternative I buy two of everything (because you might need a backup).

When these little cookies are $2.50 a throw, that’s a problem. I mean, for $2.50 you can get a whole bag of Oreos!

So we took our hoard of six (all different flavors) home and have been rationing them out, each one carefully divided and shared.

They’re worth $2.50 each, especially when each crumb is savored with a cup of coffee.

It’s a good thing we don’t live here, though, because there were something like 30 flavors in the case when we went there, and since I was picking based on color as much as anything, we’d have to go through several rounds to find the ones that are our “favorites.”

So far, we’ve managed to limit our intake to two a day – total, split with the precision of a diamondcutter and minimize shrinkage due to crumb loss – but our adventures today will take us past the store again.

Resolutions begin tomorrow, not today, right?

Holiday Greetings Gone Awry

The NC Park Service is in deep doo-doo. It seems they sent out a Christmas Greeting to some 47,000 people on their mailing list without disabling the “Reply to all” function. As a result, a platform was suddenly available for a number of off-topic comments to go to people who hadn’t signed up for them.

Understandably, there’s some irritation. In fact, there’s even quite a bit of outrage about the incident, despite the assurances that nobody’s personal information was distributed.

Of course, who knows? We get assurances from the government (and big business) all the time about things that are later proven to be blatantly false, but there doesn’t seem to be a lot of accountability. I wouldn’t bet the farm that at least one person among those 47,000 recipients doesn’t have the technical ability to somehow decipher all of the individual email addresses.

Aside from the mistake of leaving “Reply to All” enabled, Park Director Lewis Ledford and Assistant Director Don Reuter miss the point. Reuter’s comment to the Charlotte Observer (12/30/2011) was, “We were wanting to wish people a pleasant time, and we caused some aggravation. That’s unfortunate.”

What both of these civil servants fail to realize is that most of us don’t want Christmas Greetings from the Park Service – or any other branch of the government. It’s better now that we’re not wasting postage and paper, but you are still stealing my time and energy by assaulting me with unwanted advertising.

And let’s acknowledge that this is what it is. I’m not friends with people who send this kind of “greeting” out. I have no personal relationship with the Parks Service, or with my local government, elected officials, the cable company, telephone company, electric company or gas company. Unless there’s a notice of some type of special offer or a coupon in that flyer that comes to my mailbox, it’s going directly into the recycling bin. Rather than thinking more of you for acknowledging the holiday I’m pissed that you’d waste money on this nonsense and then ask for a rate hike.

You want to wish me a Happy Holiday and be my friend? Answer the phone in less than 10 rings, and then let me get transferred through the phone bank without having to repeat my issue 6 times. Develop a scheduling system that lets me know when you’re coming other than “. . . sometime between 8:00 and noon on Tuesday.” Respond to emails that I send with an actual answer, not a canned response that tells me how valuable I am as a customer and that I’ll receive an individual answer within 24 hours – especially when more often than not those responses never come.

Companies – especially utilities and government agencies – seem to think that those of us who do business with them haven’t discovered that we are no longer important to them. Most of us recognize that we are merely the cattle that are driven through their stockyards, to be fattened before we go off to the plant and make them a profit. We are the raw materials consumed in the profit machines of these organizations, and we go either willingly or because we feel there is no alternative.

As consumers, most of us have accepted that the days of reasonable levels of customer service, individualized attention and generally giving a damn about whether we spend our money in their place of business or not is gone. The threat that, “I’ll take my business elsewhere” is meaningless, since there are millions of other consumers all going to the various branches of the big-box in question and the loss of even the largest customer to any particular branch is largely irrelevant.

It would seem that they could recognize that sending a Christmas Card isn’t going to rebuild that relationship.

Sending out 47,000 pieces of spam with the ability for every wack job on that particular mailing list to respond isn’t going to win you any friends, either. It might stimulate business, though, for the tar and feather industry.

More on the Marriage Amendment

Since I last wrote about the proposed Marriage Amendment, there’ve been several changes. I know I said I wasn’t going to do essays about it, but I feel the need to close the loop a bit at least.

I thought I was going to look up all the amendments done to the NC Constitution since it was last re-written (1971ish), and go through each of them to explain what they did. This, however, proved to be a somewhat daunting task because they’re not all attached to the end like they are with the US Constitution. I guess since there were typewriters, if not word processors, in 1971, they just added and deleted rather than hooking it on. It means that it’s hard as the dickens to figure out what the 28 or so amendments are, and the statute books aren’t very user-friendly in helping with the task.

So much for that.

What you’d find out is that the changes are, for the most part, very technical and work to eliminate and define errors in the original product. They don’t look to limit anyone’s rights, other than possibly the one about no one who’s ever been convicted of a felony being able to hold the elected office of Sheriff.

Then I was going to look at the impact on individuals and families in North Carolina, but most of the mainstream press has covered that pretty significantly. Interestingly enough, the legal scholars say it’s a bad idea – not ideologically, necessarily, but because the amendment is so poorly drafted as to be ambiguous. Nobody really knows what the consequences will be, but in a worst case scenario it may well mean that (a) unmarried heterosexual couples may be denied benefits they get now; and (b) the rules may well interfere with private contracts of both straight and gay couples.

Here’s why – although it’s unclear as to exactly what the language will be thanks to either the deceit or the incompetence of our legislature, the overall thought is that it will deny the validity of any contract based upon marriage to individuals other than one man to one woman.

So, suppose someone gets health insurance through a partner’s employer. You think that Blue Cross isn’t going to jump at a chance to say, “Oh, sorry – we didn’t realize your benefits were based on a relationship between people who aren’t legally married, so we can’t pay the $250,000 for your heart transplant. We will give back the $4,328 you paid to us in premiums over the last 16 years, though.”

Does anyone truly think that an insurance company is altruistic enough that they won’t look for ever potential loophole to get out of paying benefits? There’s a reason they pay their lawyers a bazillion dollars – and make huge donations to politicians – to insure that the wording of their contracts strictly comply with the law to allow them to avoid every possible claim and thereby maximize profits.

That’s not an indictment – it’s what private companies are supposed to do – make a profit for their shareholders! The problem is that we will once again see ‘big business’ working to benefit themselves rather than those individuals who legitimately think that they’ve contracted for a specific product.

They will, in effect, save this loophole to use when it benefits them the most. Of course, if you never get a major illness or have a significant claim, you wouldn’t ever know about this because they wouldn’t be looking for a way to avoid paying it. Thus, only those who are truly the most at risk will find themselves uninsured.

Furthermore, I predict that we’ll potentially see an impact on new and expanding businesses in this state, because we have a younger generation of those who will hold the creative and managerial positions.

That is one bright spot. While gay marriage may be a moral issue to those in the 50+ age group, age is a self-limiting affliction. We will die out eventually. On the other hand, those in the 30 and under age group for the most part couldn’t care less about it and surveys show that they tend to think that gay marriage should be allowed. It may take time, but it looks like even a popular vote will eventually win the day, although that’s of little comfort to those of us who live in the here and now.

So how will this amendment impact business? Think about this -- if you have creative companies that hire well-educated individuals who tend to hold jobs that pay in the upper ranges (such as in the Research Triangle Park), I suspect that you’ll find more and more of those young people who are looking at overall quality of life and not only organizations but communities that have ideologies that are compatible with their own beliefs.

These are the same kids that have seen their parents and grandparents laid off from long-term employment with companies where they were hard workers and did a good job for years because it was financially expedient to eliminate them or their positions. Let's not overlook the fact that Mitt Romney made his millions doing exactly that for his company.

This younger generation has come to understand that there is no loyalty from your employer, and it is therefore important that you begin to look out for your own interests -- secure your retirement, invest where you think appropriate, and just assume that your company would just as soon drop you as keep you. In part, this means that they are more demanding with regard to work / life balance and to looking at the quality of life overall rather than just where they spend their employment hours.

They negotiate these points and research them much better than prior generations, and are probably better at cost / benefit analysis than most of us were. As a result, if I’m looking to move my family and take a job, but I find out that my domestic partner isn’t going to be able to tag onto my employer-provided family health insurance, I may think twice (or more) about whether this is really the place I want to be. After all, those people can generally find employment in larger metropolitan areas in states that tend to be a bit more progressive.

If those companies can’t attract the help they want, they’ll either close or move. Either way, ALL the jobs leave - not just the upper echelons and thus a decision on the marriage amendment circles around to impact the wallet people who might otherwise be inclined to sit by and think, “That doesn’t affect me.”

Enough of this rant for today. Can’t guarantee that it’s over yet, but I’ll be looking for something different to talk about as we round out the year.

THE BLOG IS BACK!!

OK, at least 4 people not related to me have asked what was up and why I quit writing the blog. It’s not quite a “hue and cry” for it’s return, but it’s enough that after my respite I’m enthused to start again.

Why did it stop?

A couple of reasons. One was pharmacological. I’m 50, overweight and have lived on a diet of high fat and salt. It should surprise no one that I’ve recently been put on blood pressure meds and been given strict instructions that the gym membership doesn’t work just because you pay for it every month. You have to actually GO to the gym and GET ON the machines and MAKE THEM OPERATE.

I know, I was surprised, too.

Anyhow, this being my first experience with meds that you take for a long period of time, I was surprised to find out that there’s sometimes a balancing that has to take place.

Over weeks, not days.

And the side effects don’t always go away. In this particular case, there were a couple. First, I was exhausted all the time. That was bad, but I could push through it for a while at least.

The side effect I couldn’t get over, though, was how it screwed up my sodium levels and consequently my ability to think and concentrate.

Words escaped me. Names of people I knew were gone and I couldn’t draw them.

Lawyers (or bloggers) who can’t follow timelines or remember details and words are at a significant disadvantage.

Fortunately, living with a medical-type person, we were able to figure it out after just a week or two.

The problem then was that the side effects don’t go away the next day. It took weeks to get that stuff outta my system and get back to semi-normal.

The second reason was that I realized I was trying to make my blog something that it wasn’t. I had grandiose ideas about going through the details about North Carolina’s proposed Constitutional Amendment on marriage.

The problem is, it just wouldn’t flow. I don’t know if I’m too close to it to write objectively, but try as I might the posts didn’t want to come out.

I’m changing the focus back to what I was. I’ll still rant about our politicians, I’m sure – mainly because they’re just too easy a target, especially during a presidential election year.

So I’m starting up again. Maybe not daily, but the goal is to be somewhat regular in my posts.

Anyone got suggestions for topics?

Veteran's Day, 2011

Today is Veteran’s Day, when we thank all those people who have fought for our freedoms in the past.

There’s lots of room to talk about how those freedoms are being eroded by politicians, especially with a Congress and State legislators that are as dysfunctional as ours is right now.  That’s irrelevant, though, for purposes of today's topic.

What is relevant is that we’re losing the opportunity to thank many of the men and women who fought to make our nation what it is because they are aging and moving to the next plane of existence.

In February, 2011, the last living WWI veteran, Frank Buckles, died at 110.  That’s a pretty good run, by any measure.

The veterans of WWII, those of the Greatest Generation, are thinning quickly, too.  I really only knew three of these individuals well – Ither D. “Skeet” Malone, Robert Weidenmaier, and Gene Sawyer, all from when I lived in Carnegie, Oklahoma.  Skeet and Bob have moved on to the next plane of existence, and sadly I’ve lost contact with Gene, although I hope he is still alive and well.

Skeet came back with the most visible contribution to that war effort.  He was hit by machine gun straffing across the right side of his chest.  As a result, his right hand and much of his arm was atrophied, a lot like a stroke victim.  He told once that he’d been taken for dead and stacked with the other bodies until someone heard him “gurgle” and shouted that one was still alive.

Other wounds weren't quite as visible but were just as traumatic.

My great uncle Herman (Robert) Honeycutt returned from that war with a drinking problem that dogged him for the rest of his life.  I worry that the wounds of today's veterans, while possibly not quite as visible, are just as traumatic as those with obvious physical manifestations.

There are other veterans who were closer to me – My dad and his brothers David and Jimmy all served in the military during that gap time between Korea and Vietnam.  Uncle Jimmy passed away several years ago, but Dad and Uncle David are still close, having become the patriarchal generation of their family.

Veterans today are sometimes harder to spot.  They frequently lack the grey hair of the more senior veterans and often are true “citizen soldiers”, having served in the Reserves or National Guard.  Their contribution is every bit as real, though, in many cases their physical wounds are far more grievous than those of earlier wars, our weapons having become more deadly and destructive, with the ability to maim horribly as well as to kill.

One of the other things that is harder for some of us today is separating the “appreciation for the soldiers” and “disapproval of the war(s).”  In our increasingly polarized society, it’s easy for that message to get mingled, and indeed I wonder if some people understand that there is a distinction – I can be proud of my nephews, who are in ROTC and moving toward careers in the military, while being adamantly opposed to our country’s participation in military actions which are based in politics with which I disagree.

They’ll still get cookies and care packages, even though I fervently hope that their career trajectory will take them out of those paths quickly.

So today we thank our veterans, and I’ve hung my big flag outside of the house – the one that draped over the casket of my friend Jerry Stanovcak, who was unable to be openly gay when he served in the military in the 1970’s, although anyone who knew Jerry wouldn’t have been fooled for long.

I fly that flag as my way of saying “Thank You” to those who, even if they disagreed with the cause, answer our country’s call to go and do those things that young men – and women – are required to do so that the rest of us can sleep at night.

Because many of us appreciate what you do or did, even if we may disagree with the reasons that it happened.

They must never think that they do not have the gratitude of those of us whom they protect.

I'm Back!

So it’s been a few days – actually a few weeks – since I wrote anything here. I think I’m ready to start again.

Sometimes when I sit down to write, the words flow out. If the creative muse hits, it’s as if time flies by and when I look up there are sometimes pages and pages written and it’s hours later.

Or just a few minutes. It has something to do with the space-time continuum and I don’t really understand it. I was a liberal arts major.

Anyhow, I stopped writing because I got tired of being so angry all the time. I thought I could stay neutral and scholarly about the proposed Constitutional Amendment, but I find that it hits a bit too close to home.

Even though there’s no intent or desire to get married, I don’t like the idea of someone else taking that option off the table for me.

Then I started hearing about some of the things that are happening in other states and realized that crazy approaching stupid is happening everywhere. All we can do is hunker down and push through as best we can, because things are going to get better eventually.

All we have to do is live long enough to see it happen.

In the meantime, let’s look at the Constitutional Amendment again.

What is a Constitutional Amendment?

One of the first places we have to start in a discussion about a Constitutional Amendment is to figure out exactly what it is.

Essentially, the Constitution is the base agreement that acts as the foundation for all other laws.  It outlines what the government can and can’t do.

The biggie, of course, is the US Constitution which was passed by Congress in 1789.  It has subsequently been “Amended” or changed 27 times.  Some of the amendments go back to just a few years after the initial passage (the Bill of Rights), and several more were done after the Civil War in order to confirm the changes brought about as a result of that conflict.

States all have a Constitution as well that serves to outline how that government will operate as well as the rights and obligations of its citizens.  A constitution is drafted by a “Constitutional Convention”, which is called in a variety of ways depending on the state you’re talking about.  In North Carolina’s case, each house of the General Assembly must pass legislation calling for a Constitutional Convention and a vote of the people thereafter agreeing with the decision and selecting the individuals who will work to draft that document.

North Carolina’s most recent Constitution was drafted in 1971.  It has been amended 28 times since then.  To amend the NC Constitution, 3/5 of the members of each house of the General Assembly must pass legislation approving the specific language to be used in the amendment.  The proposed amendment then goes to a vote of the people, where it must pass by a simple majority of the voters in order to become effective.

A constitutional amendment, and the legislation leading up to it, cannot be vetoed by the governor.

The complete text of the North Carolina Constitution and its amendments can be found at:  http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/legislation/constitution/ncconstitution.html.

Proposed Changes to the North Carolina Constitution

Last week was a tough one for lots of us who live in North Carolina.  The North Carolina General Assembly met for the purpose of determining whether or not to submit a constitutional amendment known as the “Defense of Marriage Act.”

The language of the proposal is deceptively simple:

Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State. This section does not prohibit a private party from entering into contracts with another private party; nor does this section prohibit courts from adjudicating the rights of private parties pursuant to such contracts.

The question that many of us have, though, is whether or not a constitutional amendment of this type is necessary.  We already have a law on the books – North Carolina General Statutes Section 51-1.2, which says:

Marriages, whether created by common law, contracted, or performed outside of North Carolina, between individuals of the same gender are not valid in North Carolina.

So do we really need to write the same prohibition into the State Constitution?  What are the repercussions if this going to be?

The confusion is further enhanced by the fact that the ballot that will go to the general public will only have the first sentence on it – the part about not prohibiting private contracts isn’t a part of what the public gets to consider when they are voting.

The problem with that, as I understand it, is that the second sentence won’t be “law”.  It’s merely an explanatory note, which means that it’s subject to interpretation.

It might not seem like that’s a big deal – after all, some 30 states have constitutional amendments that limit marriage to one man and one woman and another 12 or so have statutes prohibiting it.  The difference, though, is that part about “. . . only domestic legal union. . . “, which is much broader than most of the rest of them.

How so?  Say a heterosexual couple have chosen not to get married – there are lots of reasons for this, from changing social security and retirement benefits to simply having vowed never to get “a piece of paper” again after a bad prior marriage.  With the proposed language in just the first sentence being enacted, it’s very possible that one person’s employer-sponsored health insurance may no longer be available to the other.

Say one person in the same couple has to go into the hospital for some type of emergency – their partner may be excluded from the hospital room or not be allowed to make medical decisions on their behalf because they’re not married.  Whether or not they could complete documents (such as a Health Care Power of Attorney) that would work around this is one of those questions that are up in the air, but there seem to be some pretty strong arguments that those types of documents would no longer be valid.


Suddenly the legislation seems to have missed its mark and is now impacting people not intended to be the target -- or maybe this collateral impact is in fact intended, but just not discussed.  It's hard to say which is the case.

These are legitimate questions that the voters of our state can answer either direction, but the potential for unintended consequences is pretty significant.  How many people will become uninsured – and thus a burden on society – if their unmarried partner’s health insurance is no longer available and regardless of their sexual orientation?

Are we as a society up to an informed and intelligent debate, or is this whole process likely to be sidetracked by special interests – both for and against – that may influence people who don’t do their homework before they vote?

This is going to take some thought.

What is the "Truth"

Benjamin Franklin said “A half truth is often a great lie,” which seems particularly applicable to the upcoming election cycle.  Most of the talking heads in the media – whether on the left or right, politician or pundit and regardless of the particular forum – are guilty of using half-truths.  Facts are shaded, “fuzzy math” is used to justify numbers and carefully worded statements and advertisements are generated that are not exactly untrue, but which might not stand up to strict scrutiny if examined by a truly neutral party.

Combine this shading of the truth with the tendency to demonize anyone who isn’t totally in agreement with your position, and it can make for some unpleasant conversations and actions, especially when it’s combined with the ardent refusal of elected officials to compromise on any position they feel will get them re-elected, sometimes without regard to whether or not they personally hold those particular beliefs.

So what’s the solution?  As I see it, the problem is two-fold.  First, we have elected officials who have forgotten that their obligation is to represent the entirety of their constituency, not just a vocal minority.  This can be difficult, since the vast majority of the population is far more concerned with keeping their job, making the mortgage payment, changing the oil in the car and getting new shoes for the kids than with abstract positions taken by politicians.  This means that the loudest individuals – whether because of their vocalizations or their checkbooks – have the greatest influence on our politicians.  These elected officials need to be reminded that there are a lot of people who elected them and who can un-elect them with the same process.  They need to hear from these people and understand that we’re watching and there will be consequences for actions.

The other thing that must occur is the same majority who are involved in their daily living have to take a break from those actions and work to educate themselves about the issues that affect our society.  This is easier said than done, because one trusts any source of information – especially 30 second media advertisements – at their own peril.  True, it’s much easier to inhale sound bites than to deal with more extensive research, but only by being a well-educated electorate will our country be able to truly elect those individuals who can work toward a reasoned consensus that will work to the benefit of the most individuals in our society.

Reflections on the Upcoming Elections

I haven’t written a lot lately because I’ve been in a somewhat reflective mood.  I have to admit, I’m not looking forward to the coming election season for the first time in my adult life.

I used to love to watch the political process and to endlessly debate the pros and cons of the different positions with other people (disagreeing with many in the process).  The thing was, there was truly a give and take in the discussions.  There was usually a mutual respect even if we disagreed (although we’ve all occasionally run into the blowhard we simply can’t tolerate).  Just because you disagreed with someone did not necessarily mean that you were mortal enemies.  Instead, it was like playing tennis with someone who’s your equal or even a bit better – win or lose, you enjoyed the process and moved on having enjoyed the interchange with a worthy adversary.

That changed a few election cycles ago, though.  Discussion was no longer respectful but degraded into a shouting match between opposing sides, with the one who was the loudest or the best funded able to form the message, without regard to the particular facts of the situation.

There no longer seemed to be different interpretations of agreed upon facts, but instead outright denial of “facts” and “truth”.  There was no longer merely a disagreement about interpretation, but instead a refusal to acknowledge that there is any foundation in the other side’s position whatsoever.  Truth began to be somewhat irrelevant.

The NC Gay Marriage Amendment

Johnson Law Office
Larry W. Johnson, Attorney
P.O. Box 2222
Hickory, NC 28603
Telephone (828) 304-0600
FAX (866) 609-5669
e-mail ljohnson@ljohnsonlawoffice.com

September 12, 2011

Dear Senators and Representatives:

I have practiced law and lived in Hickory since 1999. During that time, I’ve had the opportunity to see the significant changes happen in North Carolina, and especially in the Hickory Metropolitan Area, due to the decline in manufacturing and the decimation of our local economy.

I understand that representing the many and varied interests in our State is difficult, and a balance must be achieved between addressing those interests that have significant financial and economic impact and those that make a constituent base happy. There are times, though, that addressing the real issues that impact the most people has to take precedence over special interests.

The Amendment to the North Carolina Constitution to ban gay marriage is completely unnecessary, and serves only to create more divisiveness at a time when we should be banding together to try to rebuild our economy and our country. Rather than enhance the quality of life in North Carolina, it will serve only to confirm that in North Carolina a group of citizens qualify as “second class.”

I would much rather see my elected officials working to rebuild our economy and create jobs to put our citizens back to work than to waste the vast resources required to address a constitutional amendment into play merely to satisfy religious conservatives. We have statutes on the books that preclude marriage between other than one man and one woman. As an attorney practicing family law, I can assure you that nothing other than a traditional marriage is given any credibility. This is most obvious when one is trying to either dissolve a marriage or civil union from another state or, alternatively, to administer an estate of someone who was in a same-sex relationship. We don’t need a constitutional amendment, the statutes in place already deal with the situation.

This proposed legislation, in all of the iterations floating out there, does nothing to support traditional marriage and only creates confusion. There is significant concern that private companies who offer domestic partner benefits – regardless of the gender of those partners – will withdraw those benefits at a time when they are most needed.

One example is the fact that many, if not all, public hospitals offer domestic partner benefits. As quasi-state agencies, they may not be able to continue to offer these benefits. How many qualified doctors, nurses, and other healthcare providers will decide not to come to North Carolina because there are other states without these restrictions? What about University Professors, Municipal administrators, or even those associated with governmentally funded research, such as at the Research Triangle Park.

Is that really what North Carolina needs right now? It would seem more that this is a self-inflicted wound that may fester and further weaken our state’s economy.

I understand that there is a significant conservative voter base that is being appeased by the promotion of this legislation. Please remember, however, that there are a significant number of us who do not align with the ultra-conservative movement and propose instead a middle road of negotiation and compromise. We will also be the ones who turn out to vote in future elections, and will be looking closely at the prior actions of our elected officials.

I urge you to vote against any Constitutional Amendment that would further define marriage in the State of North Carolina. It is unnecessary and does nothing to serve the citizens of this state while at the same time creating the possibility for significant potential harm.

Sincerely,
Larry W. Johnson

Put a Stamp on It

One of the headlines today in The New York Times is that the US Postal Service is facing some pretty dire circumstances and will potentially default on a pension payment of $5.5 billion next month and may have to shut down sometime this winter. 

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/05/business/in-internet-age-postal-service-struggles-to-stay-solvent-and-relevant.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1

Does this really surprise anyone?

Let me say first of all that I like the people on the front line at our local post office.  I go in there most every weekday (since they’re now closed on Saturdays as well as Sundays), and they are without fail friendly and helpful.  They know the dog by name and are always pleasant, even when people are backed up out the door.  Although they try to up sell you to pricier delivery services, there’s no pressure to it – it’s more like a reminder that options are available than a squeeze to get more dollars out of you.

Here’s something else I’ve discovered – the frontline workers are every bit as frustrated with their management as the rest of us, even though they can’t really say a lot.

The post office has been all but a blueprint for how NOT to run a business, going back to about the time they started “Express Mail” as a competitive response to UPS and FedEx.  It has, however, been a dismal failure as anyone who’s tried to use it quickly realizes.

First, it’s simply not competitive.  I’m not talking so much about cost – if you try to overnight a 1 pound package from, say Hickory to Portland Oregon, the cost is about $32.00 for any of them.

The difference is that FedEx and UPS GUARANTEE that they’ll make the delivery.  If you read the fine print on the Post Office’s website, you’ll see that they’ll just promise to make a good effort to deliver it by the time promised, and if they don’t you’ll get your money back.

Here’s a news flash.  If I’m spending $32.00 to get a package delivered overnight, it DARNED WELL better get there.  I don’t want to hear woulda-shoulda-coulda or explanations about how it was all spelled out in the fine print that the delivery might not actually happen or that “overnight” really means “probably the next business day.”  If you pay for the service, you have a right to expect that it’s going to happen as a reasonable person would have understood the advertisement.

The unfortunate reality, however, is that their high dollar service consistently fails to meet expectations.  The few times I tried to use it (usually when I lived in towns where UPS and FedEx weren’t immediately available), I ended up trying to work my way out of the quagmire that resulted when things didn’t arrive when promised, an experience I’m not eager to repeat.  As a result, the failures of prior years continue to haunt them, because I’m unwilling risk it again for the difference of a few bucks.

The other thing that I think sours their customers is the fact that they simply make bad decisions and, since they’re this odd quasi-governmental entity, it’s right there in front of everyone. 

Let’s face it, Bank of America screws something up, they can hide it and nobody finds out about it because they’re a private company.  The post office makes a similar gaff and there are congressional hearings.

Oh, wait.  Never mind.

You get my point, though.  Some businesses seem bent on failure and continue to make decisions that most everyone else sees is disaster.

One particular point seems to jump out in the NY Times article.  “The agency’s labor contracts have long guaranteed no layoffs to the vast majority of its workers, and management agreed to a new no layoff-clause in a major union contract last May.” (Emphasis added).

Here’s a Business 101 News Flash – if you are in the brink of bankruptcy, you don’t go out and sign a new contract agreeing not to lay off employees, especially when you know that you need to trim 220,000 people – that’s not a typo it’s almost a QUARTER OF A MILLION EMPLOYEES – from the budget.

Instead, you communicate the seriousness of the situation to the workforce and make it clear that their actions can make the decision about whom is going to be in that group of 220,000 much easier.

You don’t renew a promise that you ought to know you can’t keep and then look for Congress to bail you out of your mess.

Leave that to Bank of America.

The other thing that most any marketing person would tell you is that you want to make your business place inviting when you’re trying to encourage people in.  In the past, this meant the bricks and mortar facility had to be clean, conveniently accessible and have enough parking.  Many post offices fail in this regard because they’re located in ancient buildings (which, admittedly, do seem to be relatively clean), downtown in places that are hard to get to and which have limited parking.

They may close some of these locations and move their facilities into Wal Mart.

While this may promote the sale of $.44 stamps, law offices, accountants, and insurance companies that are located downtown and within walking distance of the existing post offices – which I’d bet make up the bulk of the sales that are happening – are not going to be happy about having to have someone from their office schlep off across town to Wally World to make a mail run once, if not twice, a day.

This is not how you endear your customer base.

The other thing that is sadly lacking is an effective web presence.  The USPS website (www.usps.gov) isn’t at all consumer friendly in many ways.

You have to re-enter all the information for each package.  15 envelopes, all going to the same town?  You have to enter all the info 15 times.  It wants to know what day you’re going to mail them and the zip code for each envelope, even when that’s irrelevant – A first class letter costs the same to anywhere in the US, and it’s a nuisance to have to put in both my zip code and the recipient’s zip code over and over again.  I want to know how many stamps to put on the package, and it’s annoying to have to completely start over once you calculate an item.

Then, when you finally do get through, they’ve hidden the cheapest option at the bottom of the page and behind another window so you have to click yet again to make it come up.  If you’re unfamiliar with the site, it’s easy to think that you have to use the premium services rather than the cheaper ones.

It’s not dishonest.  It’s just marketing.  Some would even argue that it’s good marketing. 

But it breeds distrust and doesn’t do anything to help the post office rally public support for their cause.

This is unfortunate, because the folks working the front desk down at 28601 are genuinely nice people who are victims of the poor decisions that management is making. 

A Tribute to Jennifer

This weekend was move-in for the twins at college.  We had another event happen last week, that has it’s roots go back to another college move-in, albeit 30 years ago.  Part of this story is EB’s, and although it involves me, I’m just an observer.  I’ll try to differentiate between the two of us in the thoughts although it’s hard since we’ve collaborated so closely on this post.

A week ago Tuesday, I got a telephone call.  “Do you know of a way to find out about deaths in the state?”  The short answer is I didn’t.  State vital records lag significantly behind the actual event, so they don’t show up there for weeks sometimes. 

Several phone calls and texts later, the story started to fill in.

EB got several telephone calls at work from a woman who at first wouldn’t leave her name.  Eventually she said she was “Julie from Asheboro”, which started to trigger brain cells – Julie was, in fact, our friend Jennifer’s younger sister.  She was calling to tell him that Jennifer had been killed in an accident.

To fully understand all this, you have to go back 30 years, to the first day of the first class at Lenoir-Rhyne, where both EB and Jennifer were nursing students.  They sat next to each other and immediately bonded as life-long friends.  He relates how he still remembers that first day -- She was wearing a deep green sweater and had long straight “Marcia Brady” hair that was so popular in the early 80’s, which framed her face and her huge brown “Bambi eyes”. 

With some friends, you don’t have to be in daily contact.  You can go without seeing each other or even talking at length for weeks or months at a time, and then instantly reconnect when the opportunity presents itself.  They were like that as they first graduated nursing school together, started jobs at different hospitals, then coincidentally were students together again at UNC-Greensboro when they worked on their Masters degrees.  She then went to Raleigh to continue her education and become a Nurse Anesthetist and he ended up in Hickory, but the friendship endured.

She was one of the first visitors when the twins were born just over 18 years ago.  He was present when her son was born, going to Durham to be with her from the onset of labor until she finally consented to the C-section delivery of her son many hours later.

It was a special bond between them, and one that I was glad that I got to share although there was never any illusion that I was a part of that “inner circle” – friendships that develop that early and continue across decades are special and reserved for a few.  They are a joy to behold, though, even from the outside.

Julie eventually connected with EB and shared the details of Jennifer’s death as they were known.

Jennifer had gone to her vacation home at Hound’s Ear, a gated community between Blowing Rock and Boone, to check on the property.  It’d been on the market for a while and she wanted to do a bit of maintenance to try to improve the chances of a sale.

She got there on Friday night and found that the water valve at the curb was off because they’d not been there in several months.  The house was still winterized.  About 11 a.m. on Saturday, she sent a text to a friend saying that she’d called the maintenance people to come turn the water on, but they hadn’t shown up. 

No surprise to those who knew her, she made the decision that she would simply take a wrench and fix it herself.  She was that kind of person, who would simply face a problem straight on, to look at the resources available and work toward whatever she was trying to accomplish.

Around 7:00 p.m. she was found head down in the plastic well where the water valve is located.  She apparently stretched to try and reach the bottom of the pipe – between 5 and 6 feet down, because it has to be below the frost level in the mountains – and overbalanced, tumbling headfirst to the bottom of the pipe.

Her cell phone and a flashlight were lying beside her on the ground; there’s absolutely no evidence that her death was anything other than a tragic accident.  The area around the pipe showed no signs of struggle, or even that she tried to extract herself. 

The cause of death is listed as “mechanical asphyxiation,” meaning something kept her from taking oxygen into her lungs.

One of the things that are hard on survivors, of course, is trying to make sense of an event like this.  Tragic accidents happen.  We accept when someone dies in an automobile accident or a drowning – it’s easier to accept certain types of accidents over others, and we routinely accept those risks.  In the 21^st Century US, though, people don’t die in freak accidents like this very often.  We have safety measures built in to minimize risk whenever possible.

Stairwells have handrails.  Electrical systems have circuit breakers.  Safeguards are in place to address many risks, both obvious and hidden.  And yet, silent risks still face us every day. 

A plumber would have realized instantly that her plan was extremely risky, and yet Jennifer had no idea that she was undertaking in any significant danger when she went to the curb with the intent of turning on the water so she could take a shower.

Most likely, she was royally pissed that the guy hadn’t shown up to turn on the water, that she couldn’t take a shower or flush the toilet, and that she didn’t need anyone to help her.  She could, by gosh, take care of it herself.

But she couldn’t.  We’ll never know if her judgment was impaired because she was angry, or if she simply didn’t recognize the potential for disaster.  It’s also a wake-up call to those of us who are prone to take risky actions, either knowingly or unknowingly, because, “I had to do it.”  Some of us are blind to various risks that we take every day.

We climb ladders that need to be retired.  We string extension cords across wet pavement.  We use a chair to change a light bulb instead of getting a step ladder, and we don’t wait for someone else to be around when we do it.

She built in a few safety steps – she sent a text to someone saying what she was going to do.  Her safety system was inadequate, though.  She wasn’t sending the message for the purpose of saying “check on me”; it was merely informative as to what was happening, and an expression of her frustration.  There was no signal for the recipient to check back shortly, and no one did.

She then made the decision in that split second to try and navigate a 12 to 14 inch pipe straight down to turn the water valve back on.  What she didn’t recognize were the other design components that made the decision a huge risk

The valves are designed to be turned with a special tool and from the surface.

The average person wouldn’t have the strength to turn these valves – which are notoriously sticky and difficult to turn – with a regular wrench.  It’s almost impossible to maneuver around and get sufficient leverage to turn the valve.

Maybe she slipped as she was trying to reach for the valve, or trying to exert enough force to turn it, throwing her balance off and causing her to slip into the tightest part of the pipe.

She probably didn’t know how slick PVC pipe is under the best of conditions, and especially if she were sweating and it was wet from the humidity, or there was nothing she could grip to push herself out.

We don’t know some of the details yet.  Were both arms down in the pipe, or was one behind her?  If she slipped into the hole with both arms down, there would have been no ability to walk herself out.  The official report talks abut her shoulders being “compressed”, leading to the asphyxiation.

Did she miss the risk that the force of her own dead weight, squeezed into a confined area that narrows, makes it impossible but for the most exceptional athlete to work their way out, especially without any way to leverage your waist or legs.

The more you struggle, the tighter you get.

Did she miss the risk of acting as a human cork in the hole, and the limited supply of oxygen that was available?

Had she surveyed her surroundings and understood how populated (or unpopulated) her street was that weekend in that vacation community in case she got into trouble?

Then there are the questions that go through our minds when trying to comfort ourselves, to try and make sense of such a senseless tragedy.

How did she get far enough into the hole that she could not extract herself?

How long was she trapped there alive and conscious, aware of what was happening before she finally died?

Did she hit her head?  Was she unconscious?

Most pervasively, why didn’t she call us to come help her before she started?  We could have been there in less than an hour and had lunch afterwards.  She would still be here, and her children would still have their mother.

It’s horrifying to think that she could have hung there in that hole, for who knows how many hours, before she succumbed.  She was an excellent diagnostician.  She would have quickly realized her predicament if she were conscious.

Maybe it was fast.  But it could have taken several hours.  Those things we’ll never know.  Our hope, though, is that it was mercifully quick, or that she hit her head as she fell in and simply never regained consciousness.

So we try to rationalize it and go on.  This is what survivors must do.  We cannot change that which has happened, nor can we go back and encourage different decisions.  But we can use Jennifer’s death to deepen our own self-awareness and understanding.

About our own mortality.

About lasting impressions.

About investment in friends.

Inevitably, the dial tone of life overtakes the hurt, numbing it so that we continue with our day to day activities.  Occasionally, though, there is the sharp hurt that leaks through the hum – the realization that it’s no longer possible to send a text or break up a long drive by calling, or to forward some silly thing from the internet.

It’s then that the lessons from Jennifer’s death come back, with their silent warnings to assess, have a safety backup, and always remember that there are no guarantees in life.

The College Adventure Begins

Yesterday was college move-in day.  It’s a lot like a wedding, in that weeks and weeks and weeks of planning culminate in a few hours of frenetic activity, after which the guests of honor live in a new place that’s not with their parents.

Part of the problem, of course, is that it’s a very different world than when the parents in this case went off to college roughly 30 years ago.  Things like internet connectivity, the food court and cell phone plans weren’t a big issue back then.  Nobody hauled in huge stereos with speakers the size of a garbage bin to rattle the windows of the dorm across the way.

On the other hand, some things are universal.

Who the heck decided that colleges ought to use “extra long twin” beds, so that you have to buy special bedding that will be used at no other time in anyone’s life besides the time they live in college?  If ever there was a topic rife for a ridiculous congressional investigation that would seem to be it.  Someone’s GOT to be getting a kickback somewhere in that process.

On the other hand, the stuff is cheaply enough made that a 4 year life expectancy may be somewhat optimistic for the most part.

Our living room has been the primary staging area for several weeks.  Small refrigerators, microwaves, bedding, collapsible chairs and a variety of storage do-hickeys have been living there, seemingly breeding and multiplying when unobserved so that they become all but overwhelming.

Having twins doesn’t just double the ordeal, it increases it exponentially just because of the complexities involved – especially when the two universities in question here (Western Carolina University in Cullowhee for Taylor and University of North Carolina at Greensboro for Jordan) decided that they would both have the same move-in day for freshmen.  As a result, we had to divide into teams to oversee the process.

A note here about “helicopter parents” – those adults who can’t accept that their kids are grown up, can navigate systems and processes and are ready to approach the world.  For the most part, we don’t fall into that category, preferring instead to offer a safety-net and stay in the background in case they need help.  There are some things, though, that are overwhelming to the average 50 year old and it’s simply unrealistic to expect the average 18 year old to handle them without assistance.

College admission and setup is one of those things.  They were not moving in without parental assistance, just to help carry if nothing else.

So EB and I set off to Western, while the kid’s mom, grandmother, and Jordan’s boyfriend comprised Jordan’s crew.  Because it’s a solid 2 ½ hours to Western Carolina, and because we wanted to address the situation early before it got really hot – we opted to go up on Thursday night, do a dry run so we knew where to go and be nice and refreshed when we got there.

As it happened, move-in was a breeze.  The hotel (and trust me, the choice of hotels in the area is slim – this college of roughly 10,000 students is in a town of about 10,000 people in the middle of a national forest) was actually very nice and was buzzing with freshmen and their parents in all manner of excitement.  When we hit the breakfast buffet just after 7, you could pick them out – tight faced parents accompanying sleepy kids who kinda wish their folks would hurry up and go away – but maybe not just yet.

At Orientation earlier in the summer everyone had been assured that the college had a tested process for move-in, and that we should simply trust the signs and the process, even if they seemed counter-intuitive and this was exactly right.  Signs started on the highway directing us to the route to a particular dorm.  Circular traffic flows were developed, so that you pulled in, a crowd of returning students swooshed in to get your stuff out of the car and up to the room (or at least outside the door to your room) and then you moved your car away to let someone else have your spot.

It was, without a doubt, the easiest college move-in I’ve ever seen.  Of course, it probably helped that we were there at 7:45 (15 minutes before the stated move-in time) and the helpers were still all fresh and eager.  Later, after wandering around campus and doing a few errands, we noticed the crew was moving a bit slower and the staffing was a bit thinner.

I attribute this in part to the fact that the dorm has no elevator, and there’s the equivalent of a flight and a half of stairs from the parking lot to the door of the dorm.  Volunteerism only goes so far.  On the other hand, it was much, much better than the mega-dorms where most of the freshmen went, with 7 floors and only limited elevator availability.

I just can’t say enough good about the college and their planning.  There were parking / police / informational people all over, wearing nice yellow vests or T-shirts and offering direction if you even looked a little confused.  Trams were running from the remote parking lots – where parents were directed after they’d unloaded – on a regular basis, and the drivers weren’t hesitant about stopping mid-road and asking people traipsing down the sidewalk if they needed a ride, and where to.

Inside the dorms, assistants went around with a variety of tools ready to do those things that they’d learned were frequently requested – a rubber mallet to allow beds to be disassembled and bunked or “lofted” so you could put your desk underneath, effectively doubling the available space in the room.  They also had boxcutters, scissors, brooms, screwdrivers and – perhaps most importantly – MUSCLE to keep parents from being injured trying to do something for which they should have had more common sense at their age.

Mind you, we’d brought the tools we needed – but were impressed that they’d anticipated that some parents (or students travelling alone) might not have had that foresight.

The room is a pretty typical dorm room for two – two armoire-type closets, two desks, two chairs and one dresser, the only thing that really had to be shared between the boys.

We were fortunate that Taylor’s room-mate wasn’t there early so we had the ability to spread out in the entire room to organize.  Boxes were broken down and taken to the designated “CARDBOARD RECYCLING AREA” where they magically whooshed away during the day.  Extra trash dumpsters were present and marked and emptied regularly as they filled.  It was well thought out and we were unpacked, organized and ready to go out to explore the campus a bit by 9:30 in the morning.

In some ways, our collective experience and that of other parents had provided us helpful information.  One of the mechanics at the shop we used grabbed me a couple of weeks ago and, upon learning that one of the twins was going to Western said, “Whatever you do, take extra power bars and extension cords.  There’s only 2 outlets for each student in the room, and they aren’t in good places.”  Words of wisdom from a parent who’s been there, done that. 

More importantly, was advice from one of the Deans during orientation, “Bring it with you.  Don’t think that you’ll go to Wal Mart and pick it up because there are 8,000 other students who will have the same idea.”

This worked for us.  We had breaker bars, removable sticky hangars (the only approved way to fasten things to the wall), zip ties, duct tape and all those other things that we needed to make move-in both easy and organized. 

The only mis-steps?  I wish I’d brought longer zip-ties (which are extremely useful in fastening things together) and I’d gotten the wrong fan for optimal air circulation in the un-air conditioned (YES – UN-AIRCONDITIONED!!) dorm.  Turns out that two of the old-style box fans fit perfectly in the window, and I’d gotten a higher-end funky-shaped thing that really didn’t sit well on the windowsill.  When we ran across another breaker bar in the bookstore as he picked up his books I snagged it, just to make it more convenient to plug in the fridge and microwave.  There was nothing missing, though, that we couldn’t have done without.

Throughout the day, we were communicating with the other team in Greensboro who’d loaded up on Thursday and left to make the hour and a half trek there promptly at 8:00 a.m.  Although their experience was different, it was apparently just as good.  They had a bit of added confusion because Jordan’s roommate was there with her family moving in at the same time.  Eight people are a tight fit in a dorm room that’s roughly 15 feet square even without the chaos of unpacking and putting away.  Pics were swapped back and forth between the teams during the day along with suggestions about how to address different things that came up.

We ended up the experience with lunch in the college cafeteria, which was excellent.  If we lived nearby, we would be on the meal plan.  They were running a special which the lady told us was called “Care and Share”, which essentially meant all you could eat for $4.00 a head.  College administrators are wise in many ways – letting the parents see that the food is actually pretty good is one way to combat the student’s argument for the need to eat off-campus more and more.

So by noon, we were done.  The wisest advice that had been delivered throughout had also come during orientation – something along the lines of, “Help your student unpack and put things away.  Go eat lunch.  Give them a hug and a kiss, and then get in your car and go home.  They’ll be fine.”

So we did.  They’re both good kids, and although there’s a little trepidation and hesitance, they are ready to start their adult adventures.  They’ve gotten input from their buddies that have already started, and are getting good reports.  Although the bulk of the students move in this weekend, those who have already started are sending positive reports and advice back from the front.

Go to everything.  Be friendly to everyone.  Try it, you might like it.  If you don’t, you know you don’t have to do it again.

It’s hard to improve on advice like that, and besides, they’re more likely to hear things from their compatriots than they are from their parents.  As Mark Twain observed, parents have a faster learning curve than students, possibly because we will next meet them as adults and equals.

It’s not a bad system when you think about it.