The College Adventure Begins

Yesterday was college move-in day.  It’s a lot like a wedding, in that weeks and weeks and weeks of planning culminate in a few hours of frenetic activity, after which the guests of honor live in a new place that’s not with their parents.

Part of the problem, of course, is that it’s a very different world than when the parents in this case went off to college roughly 30 years ago.  Things like internet connectivity, the food court and cell phone plans weren’t a big issue back then.  Nobody hauled in huge stereos with speakers the size of a garbage bin to rattle the windows of the dorm across the way.

On the other hand, some things are universal.

Who the heck decided that colleges ought to use “extra long twin” beds, so that you have to buy special bedding that will be used at no other time in anyone’s life besides the time they live in college?  If ever there was a topic rife for a ridiculous congressional investigation that would seem to be it.  Someone’s GOT to be getting a kickback somewhere in that process.

On the other hand, the stuff is cheaply enough made that a 4 year life expectancy may be somewhat optimistic for the most part.

Our living room has been the primary staging area for several weeks.  Small refrigerators, microwaves, bedding, collapsible chairs and a variety of storage do-hickeys have been living there, seemingly breeding and multiplying when unobserved so that they become all but overwhelming.

Having twins doesn’t just double the ordeal, it increases it exponentially just because of the complexities involved – especially when the two universities in question here (Western Carolina University in Cullowhee for Taylor and University of North Carolina at Greensboro for Jordan) decided that they would both have the same move-in day for freshmen.  As a result, we had to divide into teams to oversee the process.

A note here about “helicopter parents” – those adults who can’t accept that their kids are grown up, can navigate systems and processes and are ready to approach the world.  For the most part, we don’t fall into that category, preferring instead to offer a safety-net and stay in the background in case they need help.  There are some things, though, that are overwhelming to the average 50 year old and it’s simply unrealistic to expect the average 18 year old to handle them without assistance.

College admission and setup is one of those things.  They were not moving in without parental assistance, just to help carry if nothing else.

So EB and I set off to Western, while the kid’s mom, grandmother, and Jordan’s boyfriend comprised Jordan’s crew.  Because it’s a solid 2 ½ hours to Western Carolina, and because we wanted to address the situation early before it got really hot – we opted to go up on Thursday night, do a dry run so we knew where to go and be nice and refreshed when we got there.

As it happened, move-in was a breeze.  The hotel (and trust me, the choice of hotels in the area is slim – this college of roughly 10,000 students is in a town of about 10,000 people in the middle of a national forest) was actually very nice and was buzzing with freshmen and their parents in all manner of excitement.  When we hit the breakfast buffet just after 7, you could pick them out – tight faced parents accompanying sleepy kids who kinda wish their folks would hurry up and go away – but maybe not just yet.

At Orientation earlier in the summer everyone had been assured that the college had a tested process for move-in, and that we should simply trust the signs and the process, even if they seemed counter-intuitive and this was exactly right.  Signs started on the highway directing us to the route to a particular dorm.  Circular traffic flows were developed, so that you pulled in, a crowd of returning students swooshed in to get your stuff out of the car and up to the room (or at least outside the door to your room) and then you moved your car away to let someone else have your spot.

It was, without a doubt, the easiest college move-in I’ve ever seen.  Of course, it probably helped that we were there at 7:45 (15 minutes before the stated move-in time) and the helpers were still all fresh and eager.  Later, after wandering around campus and doing a few errands, we noticed the crew was moving a bit slower and the staffing was a bit thinner.

I attribute this in part to the fact that the dorm has no elevator, and there’s the equivalent of a flight and a half of stairs from the parking lot to the door of the dorm.  Volunteerism only goes so far.  On the other hand, it was much, much better than the mega-dorms where most of the freshmen went, with 7 floors and only limited elevator availability.

I just can’t say enough good about the college and their planning.  There were parking / police / informational people all over, wearing nice yellow vests or T-shirts and offering direction if you even looked a little confused.  Trams were running from the remote parking lots – where parents were directed after they’d unloaded – on a regular basis, and the drivers weren’t hesitant about stopping mid-road and asking people traipsing down the sidewalk if they needed a ride, and where to.

Inside the dorms, assistants went around with a variety of tools ready to do those things that they’d learned were frequently requested – a rubber mallet to allow beds to be disassembled and bunked or “lofted” so you could put your desk underneath, effectively doubling the available space in the room.  They also had boxcutters, scissors, brooms, screwdrivers and – perhaps most importantly – MUSCLE to keep parents from being injured trying to do something for which they should have had more common sense at their age.

Mind you, we’d brought the tools we needed – but were impressed that they’d anticipated that some parents (or students travelling alone) might not have had that foresight.

The room is a pretty typical dorm room for two – two armoire-type closets, two desks, two chairs and one dresser, the only thing that really had to be shared between the boys.

We were fortunate that Taylor’s room-mate wasn’t there early so we had the ability to spread out in the entire room to organize.  Boxes were broken down and taken to the designated “CARDBOARD RECYCLING AREA” where they magically whooshed away during the day.  Extra trash dumpsters were present and marked and emptied regularly as they filled.  It was well thought out and we were unpacked, organized and ready to go out to explore the campus a bit by 9:30 in the morning.

In some ways, our collective experience and that of other parents had provided us helpful information.  One of the mechanics at the shop we used grabbed me a couple of weeks ago and, upon learning that one of the twins was going to Western said, “Whatever you do, take extra power bars and extension cords.  There’s only 2 outlets for each student in the room, and they aren’t in good places.”  Words of wisdom from a parent who’s been there, done that. 

More importantly, was advice from one of the Deans during orientation, “Bring it with you.  Don’t think that you’ll go to Wal Mart and pick it up because there are 8,000 other students who will have the same idea.”

This worked for us.  We had breaker bars, removable sticky hangars (the only approved way to fasten things to the wall), zip ties, duct tape and all those other things that we needed to make move-in both easy and organized. 

The only mis-steps?  I wish I’d brought longer zip-ties (which are extremely useful in fastening things together) and I’d gotten the wrong fan for optimal air circulation in the un-air conditioned (YES – UN-AIRCONDITIONED!!) dorm.  Turns out that two of the old-style box fans fit perfectly in the window, and I’d gotten a higher-end funky-shaped thing that really didn’t sit well on the windowsill.  When we ran across another breaker bar in the bookstore as he picked up his books I snagged it, just to make it more convenient to plug in the fridge and microwave.  There was nothing missing, though, that we couldn’t have done without.

Throughout the day, we were communicating with the other team in Greensboro who’d loaded up on Thursday and left to make the hour and a half trek there promptly at 8:00 a.m.  Although their experience was different, it was apparently just as good.  They had a bit of added confusion because Jordan’s roommate was there with her family moving in at the same time.  Eight people are a tight fit in a dorm room that’s roughly 15 feet square even without the chaos of unpacking and putting away.  Pics were swapped back and forth between the teams during the day along with suggestions about how to address different things that came up.

We ended up the experience with lunch in the college cafeteria, which was excellent.  If we lived nearby, we would be on the meal plan.  They were running a special which the lady told us was called “Care and Share”, which essentially meant all you could eat for $4.00 a head.  College administrators are wise in many ways – letting the parents see that the food is actually pretty good is one way to combat the student’s argument for the need to eat off-campus more and more.

So by noon, we were done.  The wisest advice that had been delivered throughout had also come during orientation – something along the lines of, “Help your student unpack and put things away.  Go eat lunch.  Give them a hug and a kiss, and then get in your car and go home.  They’ll be fine.”

So we did.  They’re both good kids, and although there’s a little trepidation and hesitance, they are ready to start their adult adventures.  They’ve gotten input from their buddies that have already started, and are getting good reports.  Although the bulk of the students move in this weekend, those who have already started are sending positive reports and advice back from the front.

Go to everything.  Be friendly to everyone.  Try it, you might like it.  If you don’t, you know you don’t have to do it again.

It’s hard to improve on advice like that, and besides, they’re more likely to hear things from their compatriots than they are from their parents.  As Mark Twain observed, parents have a faster learning curve than students, possibly because we will next meet them as adults and equals.

It’s not a bad system when you think about it.