Flic my Bic

When I was a teenager back in the dark ages of the late 70’s, we went to concerts. It didn’t matter whether you liked the music or not, the social aspect was far more important. I wasn’t a big music fan, but even I went to see Linda Ronstadt, Styx and a myriad of other B-level musical groups who made it to our college campus. I couldn’t afford tickets to A-level groups, and besides, the pot smoke always made me sleepy.

I didn’t smoke – pot or cigarettes – but the few times that I went to a concert I made sure I always had a lighter.

Why? So that you could “flick your Bic” and hold it up in the air and wave with everyone else during the ballads or when asking for an encore. It was a way to make sure that the performers knew that all the people out there in the dark appreciated their efforts – we could shine a tiny little light for them.

Of course, smoking -- tobacco or pot -- is no longer allowed in big auditoriums. Smoking overall is down, which is a good thing. But it means that people at concerts no longer have a lighter to wave.

From the perspective of thirty years older, that’s not necessarily a bad thing – all those open flames in that crowd is just an accident waiting to happen. The older I get, the less tolerance I have for crowds anyhow. I know where emergency exits and bathrooms are, in case I should have to suddenly depart for either.

There is a solution to the social unacceptability of open flames in confined areas that satisfies most everyone. You see, you can download an application for your iPhone that imitates a cigarette lighter. There are several to choose from, some free, some for a fee.

Probably the most ironic thing is that there’s a free one from Zippo (yeah, the same folks that made your grandfather’s lighter – they’re still around) that actually acts like the old style lighters. You touch your phone’s screen in certain ways to get it to perform. You can even customize the case on the screen so that it has a theme appropriate to the user.

The last concert we went to was a couple of years ago when Cher, was on one of her “Farewell Tours”. 12,000 fans, most over 40, dancing in the aisles and singing along. Unlike 30 years ago, lots of us got tired about halfway through and had to sit down. There was a shortage of handicap seating, and more than one person opted out of their “good” seats down low rather than brave all those stairs while being supported by a cane or walker.

Some of us also had ear plugs, recognizing that the decibels of our childhood have already come home to roost. Whoda thunk that you only get a limited number of those to use, and once they’re gone you can’t get any more? There are only so many bars available on the television volume control, and for those of us already in the upper realms, we got to ration what’s left to make sure we have enough to last!

But there weren’t any lighters to wave for Cher. All those geriatric fans had either given up smoking or were no longer the rebels that would have lit up -- cigarettes or pot -- during the concert regardless of the rules.

Next time they can go to the concert and hold their virtual flames high, because as the ads say, “. . . there’s an App for that.”

Except for those of us who have Blackberries. We still have to stop at the 7-Eleven and get a 99 cent Bic on the way to the concert. And make sure that we go to the bathroom while we’re there, because there’s always a line at the auditorium.