Infants on Airplanes

I love babies and toddlers. I get this from my Dad, who is a sweet and gentle man that children instinctively flock to.

The wee ones are so sweet when they want to climb up on your lap, they don’t insist on controlling the television remote, and they’ll laugh at about anything, even when other adults roll their eyes at you for making "that noise."

They’re especially great in those terrycloth sleepers, because they are so tactile and wonderful to hold when they snuggle up next to you.

Toddlers and small children are great, too, because they are so ready to give and receive love. They’ll share about anything from their toys to their cookie with anyone who makes eye contact and seems to want to interact. They’re adorable and draw me in like a magnet.

The allure starts to wear off about the time that they learn that with control of the remote you can watch “The Little Mermaid” umpty-gazillion times in a row, regardless of the impact that may have on the sanity of any adult in the house.

Not so for the toddler in the next seat on an airplane.

In fact, about the only time I don’t like babies is on airplanes. I suspect I’m like many other adults in this regard. Nobody wants to be next to a toddler on a cross-country flight, no matter how much they like children.

Planes are the only place that people who love babies silently pray, “Not by me, not by me, not by me!” It’d be a toss-up as to which was worse – being trapped in the middle between two 400 pound guys who went to the gym before coming to the airport and decided they didn’t have time to shower or being on the window seat next to an exhausted mother and a teething infant on a New York to San Francisco flight.

You should get time out of Purgatory for either, and it’s a toss-up as to which is worth more points.

We did some travelling around the holidays, and there were a LOT of little kids on their way to or from Grandma’s house.

The smart parents had them out of those car seats encouraging them to run up around the waiting area.

That’s the ticket, tire those little buggers out BEFORE they’re trapped in a tin can with 300 other folks who don’t think their every action is entirely adorable.

The parents lacking foresight were letting the kids gnaw on an unlimited stash of Christmas candy and cookies while drinking out of a sippy cup full of caffeinated, fully sugared soda.

They are the ones getting dirty looks from the older adults – those who have been down that road before.

We were lucky in our travels this time. Babies were all at the other end of the plane, no toddlers with sticky hands in the next seat, no crying babies nearby.

Miraculously, once we arrived at our destination, the kiddies started being adorable again.