Appliances

The appliances are in open revolt. That’s the only explanation.

I don’t understand why since for the most part we don’t mistreat them, but one by one a subversive movement is going through them to make our lives miserable.

It began a few months ago, when the oven in the kitchen stove decided that the “convection” setting would no longer work.

Mind you, this is a GE Profile Range that was less than three years old at the time. It was not an inexpensive piece of equipment, bought when we remodeled the kitchen and replaced all the appliances. It was a compromise between the 1988 relic that came with the house and the 60 inch Viking restaurant quality that would have looked killer in there.

But, c’mon – although we cook fairly regularly, it’s hardly worth $15,000 just because it looks good. Besides, we could easily match the fridge, dishwasher, microwave and trash compactor to the GE.

Just shy of the three year mark, after the warranty had expired and within the timeframe that I wished I’d taken out the extended warranty, the convection fan went out.

That sounds simple enough, right? I have tools, I can do simple repairs. I replaced the light bulb in the oven without a major loss of blood. Unfortunately, though, the stove has electronics. Anything more complicated than the oven light takes tools, comprehension and patience that I don’t have. It was necessary to call the appliance store we bought it from to send a repairman out.

On the phone to the appliance store, I tried to explain what it was that was needed. They could order the part and send it with him.

It seems doesn’t work that way. They have to come out and do a “diagnostic visit”, ($83.00, including mileage) to determine the part that needs to be ordered. Then they order the part and come back to put it in sometime in the future.

I guess you use the drive thru in the meantime.

When the repair guy got there, I asked if he could also look at the icemaker, which wasn’t working very well and was making a funny noise. Turns out for another $75.00 he could. He pointed out that at least I saved the mileage. I opted out.

And small local businesses wonder why customers no longer have any loyalty to them.

That visit took ten minutes. He needed the part I told him would need to be replaced. He was back to put it in a week later for a mere $328.00, which, as I recall, was slightly more than the cost of the extended warranty that I didn’t buy.

After that was the coffee maker. The old one was working OK, but looked a bit shabby so it was retired to the basement and a shiny new Sunbeam was put on the counter in its place, all black and chrome and sleek.

I promptly cracked the carafe against the granite countertop and broke it the first morning.

Now, you’d think that calling to order this would be a simple thing, right? Well, it’s not. And forget about buying one at the stores; nobody locally sells them.

So I go on the internet to the Sunbeam website and find that I have to call the “service agency” for this area – in this case, it’s in Columbia, South Carolina. I contacted them with my model number, part number and credit card number and ordered a new carafe.

They told me it would arrive in 6 to 8 weeks. 

I’d be dead by then if there’s no coffee.

So I dragged the retired coffee pot back upstairs and as soon as a pot was brewed used the renewed energy to fire off an angry letter to Sunbeam, who responded with a form letter saying they were sorry that I found their customer service inadequate.  They didn't offer any remedy, but were just sorry that I found them inadequate.

Don't they realize that people get divorced over much less than "inadequate"?

Three days later, a new carafe came in the mail. Not the one I ordered; this one came from Sunbeam. It was Followed by the one I paid for six weeks after that.

It would seem that they could stand to brush up a bit on their communication skills if they'd like to keep the customers they have.

Then last Thanksgiving, the electric blanket gave out. Well, halfway. One side heats and the other doesn’t.

After looking at the blanket, I realized that it was less than a year into a five year warranty. Those people are also nice enough to put the website right there on the label, so I found their phone number and called them.

“Yes, ma’am. My electric blanket has stopped working on one side, and it’s still under warranty. I’d like to get it repaired or replaced.”
“No, turning it over won’t work. It's not heating on the top or the bottom; it’s the left side that quit.”
“It is plugged in. I have dust bunnies in my eyebrows to prove that I crawled under the bed and checked. I even reversed the controls. I’m sure it’s the blanket.”

So I shipped it back to them. Three months ago. Three months of one of the coldest and wettest winters in years. And I’ve heard nothing.

Along about Christmas we bought another blanket, which was fine until last Saturday night when it stopped working. On one side. Sometime about 3:00 a.m.

If your side still works, it’s not such a big deal. If your side is the one that quit, though, it’s pretty important.

That first cup of coffee Saturday morning began to smooth things out after that rough night. The next one, though, seemed a bit tepid. The third was ice cold.

All the little lights were on. The clock was working. The heating element, however, seems to have gone out on this jinxed Sumbeam coffee maker. (Note that I said "Sumbeam" and not "Sum-something else" that I really was thinking; no point in offending anyone unnecessarily).

Were in not for the salvation of the old coffee pot still doing sentry duty in the basement and ready to be brought back into action, it could have been a bad day. It was still at least 3 hours before the stores opened where we could have bought another one.  Gas station coffee just won't do the trick, at least not on a Saturday morning.  Besides, they only sell one cup at a time and it's awkward to make repeat trips for refills.

As it was, there was enough energy in the cold coffee to let me bundle up the new pot to send it back to Sunbeam along with a letter full of righteous indignation about the quality of their products.

Now to find a box big enough for a blanket.