A Crisis on the Corner

There was a crisis here on Tuesday.

As cataclysms go, it wasn’t a huge one, at least not to anyone outside the house. No locusts or frogs, the water stayed clear, firstborn children seem intact.

But to me it was substantial.

My day usually starts in the early morning in the Den, with the newspaper, coffee and the computer. Sometime after daybreak I go upstairs to the office to work.

Tuesday I was following this routine and set my laptop on the counter while I refilled the coffee cup.

Gotta keep the creative juices flowing, you know. Need all the help I can get in that regard.

After filling my cup, as I turned around, the world began moving in slow motion, like in movies when someone’s in a car wreck or falling down the side of a mountain.

My laptop went from the countertop to the floor. Hard.

I tried to reach, to grab – to stop the hurt that I knew in my heart was potentially lethal, like when a parent sees their four year old running toward an electrical outlet with a pair of scissors in their hands, but it was not to be. I could not get there fast enough to avert the trauma.

As with so many falls, at first it looked like things were relatively unscathed. A minor scratch, the case had a crack and one hinge was out of kilter. Annoying, but things that I could live with. I had big hopes for, “No blood, no foul.”

After a few minutes, though, it was obvious that there were internal injuries. The little laptop, just a year old (which converts to about 45 in human years as best I can tell) now had narcolepsy.

Suddenly and without reason it would go to sleep, sometimes mid-sentence.

I’d slap it around a bit and eventually it would wake up, somewhat confused as to what happened and needing more than a bit of reminding to stay on the task at hand.

As the day progressed, I realized it was like talking to a stroke patient.

Words are slurred and responses delayed or irrelevant to the question posed. Short term memory isn’t what it was.

When I consulted with the experts, their suggestions were somewhat universal – one summed it up best when he suggested that I pray to the Computer Gods for moments of clarity, so that important information and last good-byes can be shared.

None offered hope, pointing out that at over a year old it was already bordering on obsolete and parts were no longer available.  There was no new hip in the future for this patient.

So I set about downloading anything important to my desktop. Experience with laptops has taught me that they are prone to such accidents, so I keep little on it that can’t be replaced. There were some vacation pictures and movies that needed to move, but otherwise it was a fairly short drill to clear the hard drive.

Now we wait, which is the hardest part.

There are rallies, moments of clarity that provide false hope, but in reality the cause is lost and it is but a matter of time. Confession has been heard and Extreme Unction administered. It will move on to the next plane of existence with a clear conscience and good Karma, having been a great computer during the short time it’s been in my life. We have hopes for a peaceful – and timely – passing.

There'll be no receiving. Memorial donations should be made to the electronic charity of your choice.