Prepare To Be Assimilated

We had to make one of our semi-annual trips to Hell yesterday. We couldn’t avoid it, there are some things you just can’t get anywhere else.

By “Hell”, of course I mean that scourge of retail in the western world, Wal Mart.

Wal Mart stores are like kudzu. Once it gets a toehold somewhere, you usually can’t eradicate it and it takes over and kills everything in its path. At that point, you simply have to recognize that it’s there and you have to deal with it as best you can.

In my case, that means shopping there only when there is absolutely no other choice – about twice a year. One of those times was last Sunday morning, about 7:00.

This is a “safe” time in WalMart. The drunks who go there after the bars close have already left, but the morning crowds aren’t usually out yet You can get in and out without being overwhelmed by the crush of humanity.

Here’s what I predict, though.

This is the shopping venue of the future. When I was growing up in the 60’s and 70’s, first you went downtown to lots of different stores to shop. That turned into the enclosed mall in the early 70’s and 80’s, and it then became the place to hang out as well.

Malls have since fallen out of favor, and there’s nothing sadder than a once high-end shopping mall that’s gone by the wayside. The anchor stores leave, then come the nail shops and “As Seen on TV” specialty stores. Roving gangs of adolescents take over and older people, single women and young mothers no longer feel safe, so they stop going. Of course, the fact that those same people can take care of much of their shopping for big-ticket items online doesn’t hurt. Anyone who’s had to drag a fussy baby through 37 stores knows that it’s worth twice the price to be able to “click and ship” an item.

So what’s the next retail sensation? I predict that Wal Mart will take over an increasingly larger part of our retail sector. We have a larger store in Hickory, complete with groceries and a McDonalds. They also have a bank, an optician, an urgent care clinic, a tax preparer, a beauty salon and a photography studio.

Excuse me, but that sounds a lot like what I remember being in downtown, or in a mall. In an attempt to expand their influence, they’ve taken out several registers and are building more cubicle-type storefronts to go in there as well. They are assimilating more and more formerly independent businesses in those blue vests.

Is this the town square or mall of the future? Like both town squares and malls, you can get most of what you routinely need in one place, there’s lots of parking – too much, in some opinions – and it’s convenient, being open 24 hours in most cases.

I hope not, but I’m afraid it’s going to turn into that especially if our society continues to buy into the “get it as cheaply as possible” culture.

Until then, I’ll continue to make my twice-yearly trips, getting those things that I absolutely cannot procure anywhere else.