World AIDS Day

Yesterday was the 22nd annual World AIDS day. As has been our custom for quite some time, we went to the ALFA memorial service.

For those not in the know, ALFA is the HIV / AIDS service organization serving nine counties in Western North Carolina. You can get more information about them at http://www.alfainfo.org/.

It’s almost impossible to be a gay man in your 40’s and not have been to several of these services. While there have been some similarities over the years, there are also differences.

There are fewer wheelchairs and walkers present, as individuals who have been infected with HIV / AIDS now find that it’s not a death sentence, but rather is a chronic condition that carries a significant life expectancy if one receives proper treatment.

The services are more upbeat now than in the early 1990’s, when there was still so much information about the disease and how it was spread.  The panic has subsided, to some extent.  The work remains, however.

The visible manifestations of the disease in those who are infected are much more subtle than initially. In the late 1980’s and early 1990’s, there was an immediate and distinct wasting of the body as muscle mass was lost and could not be rebuilt. Now, with proper treatment, many individuals who are positive for the virus frequently show no outward symptoms.

This is, to some extent, both a blessing and a curse, since some who are infected and do not appear sick refuse to modify their behaviors, continuing to have unprotected sex or share intravenous drugs with others who make poor choices regarding their own protection.

The music with the service is much more upbeat, in our case having been provided by the Lenoir-Rhyne University Gospel Choir. Many colleges, especially those with church affiliations, were reluctant to participate in such events initially.  http://www.lr.edu/

We now see interfaith participation in the services and a broad spectrum of participants and attendees.  Last night's service was hosted by the Unifour Christian Fellowship, a church that has been a very active supporter of ALFA over the years.  http://www.ucfc.net/  They are a group that put their boots on the ground to carry out their message of support.

The messages brought, in this case by a missionary who works with AIDS patients in Africa and by a pastor who has been HIV positive for over twenty years, are not those of despair but rather testaments of victory over the disease, although all acknowledge that there is much more to do.

There are, however, similarities that have remained in the services over the years.

There is the recognition that the stigma associated with the disease causes many people to decline to be tested, or to fail to obtain appropriate treatment out of fear that their condition will be discovered.

There is a request for volunteers to get involved and help those who are afflicted and affected by HIV / AIDS. Aside from donating money or food or office supplies or whatever, or offering to act as chauffer to someone who can no longer drive to help them get to the grocery store or doctor appointments, one of the most fundamental ways a volunteer can help is to approach those with authority over school systems to allow educational materials that are based in the realities of society today be presented to young people.  Informative, fact based data is the only way to enable them to consider the consequences of their actions and hopefully make rational decisions regarding their own safety.

It continues to amaze me that entire school systems refuse to allow any educational materials other than abstinence only be presented to their students. Invariably, these are the school systems that have the highest incidents of teen pregnancy.

There is a recognition that the client base for groups such as ALFA continues to grow, despite attempts at education and availability of testing.  More and more clients do not discover that they are infected with HIV until they have some catastrophic illness and are diagnosed with full-blown AIDS.  This is the equivalent of discovering that you have cancer not when it is a small lump in a woman's breast, but after it has spread through the lymphatic system, encroaching upon the entire body.

The services always end with a candlelight vigil, where the names of those who have passed to another realm are recalled. The readings start somewhere in the 1990’s, the lists from prior to that being simply too long to read. A difference, though, is that the lists get shorter for each year as medical advances and information became available.

Those for the last few years usually contain only three or four names.

Finally, there’s a moment of silence, as we contemplate the flames in the crowd, vigil to the messages in our hearts to which we cannot give voice.  Longing for those who had their lives cut short by this disease.

Those in attendance recall the names of those who were not mentioned.

For me, those names include Jerry and Rick. Steve. Skip and Joe. All who fought the good fight, but finally relinquished their hold on this earth to journey on to the next reality.

We remember them especially on World AIDS day, and hope that the list of names continues to get shorter each year.